In May of 1995 my marriage broke down leaving me with four children between the ages of 5 months to 10 years old, a business and a house. All was good for about six months then I crashed. I was crying all the time and a friend told me I was depressed. I went to the doctor and this was confirmed, clinical depression was the technical term used. The only solution given to me was medication. This didn’t feel appropriate, but it was all that there was so I went this route. Medication didn’t help much, as I couldn’t feel anything. I was numb inside. The medication just seemed to take the edge off. The biggest indicator that I needed an alternative way of dealing with the depression was in noticing that as I looked at my children, I loved them so much, yet could not actually access that feeling that used to be there. I even had suicidal thoughts, but deep inside I knew I would never leave my children. I would sit by their bed and tell them that I didn’t feel well. I assured them that it was not their fault and that I would find out what was causing it, deal with it and get better.
One day was particularly bad and I phoned a friend who referred me to Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP Counselling. Neuro Linguistic Programming is the study of how the mind works. After my first session, I felt so good. I could feel the healing in my body from the processes we did. I left feeling optimistic. I continued with appointments every two weeks dealing with the events of my past.
I went to speak to the family counsellor that I was seeing during this time and told her that I would find out what was causing my depression, deal with it and heal! Her response was that this was not possible, that depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain and that I needed anti-depressants to deal with it. She said that I could go off anti-depressants for a while, then an event such as my mother dying, or my kids getting sick would have me going back on them. I chose to ignore this information as it didn’t feel true to me.
I continued with NLP counselling and started studying to be a Certified NLP Counsellor, which I did. During this time, I learned that it is true, depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, and also that my body created this imbalance; therefore, my body could heal it. I have proven this to be true for me. As I continued my appointments and my experiential class work, I weaned off the anti-depressants and have been drug-free and depression free for over 20 years now.
During this time there was one instance when I had the thought that I was depressed again. I felt total terror. I wondered if the family counsellor had been correct. I took action and made an appointment with my NLP Counsellor. During the appointment I was asked, “What are you depressed about?” I thought and thought and couldn’t come up with a reason. Then realized, it was only a thought that I had believed and it was not true. I have never believed this since and have never forgotten nor taken for granted the impact of our thoughts on our lives.
After becoming certified with NLP, I continued to study and learn to continue with my healing. I studied The Journey www.thejourney.com and became a Certified Journey Practitioner. This helped me to forgive people that I felt wronged me and feel pain that I had never allowed myself to feel.
After I completed The Journey I noticed that I still woke up at 2:30 a.m. with anxiety and had anxiety attacks. I really felt overwhelmed as I was even more aware of the thoughts continually racing around my head driving me crazy.
It was during this period of my life that I was away with some friends and heard about THE WORK of Byron Katie www.thework.com . THE WORK is a simple yet profoundly effective way to isolate and question your stressful thoughts. All you need to do THE WORK is an open mind. I have been studying THE WORK for over 8 years now, and am a Certified Facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie. I no longer have anxiety attacks. I have learned that all my pain is a result of believing a thought. I imagine that may sound simplistic, but in my experience it is true. There has been no problem with my life, just what I believed about it. With THE WORK, I am able to question these stressful thoughts, explore possibilities and feel peaceful again.
I have a saying, “When the pain of the problem gets greater than the pain of the solution, we will seek help”. It is my mission and passion to share THE WORK of Bryon Katie.
If you or anyone you know is ready and seeking an alternative in coping with stress or even depression, this may be an effective possibility. It is always your choice which avenue you take, as there are so many options. I have merely named a few of the things that have proven beneficial on my journey to wellness over the years. I believe the saying, “The truth will set you free” is indeed true. In my experience, the truth deep inside of me that I tap into doing THE WORK, feeling the answers in me, has set me free.
I am not against anti-depressants, I am grateful that the people who need them have them as an option to help them cope, it is my desire and passion to let people know that other options to healing themselves exist. I know that I would have appreciated knowing about such options during the dark and desperate periods of my past.
After doing The Work for over 8 years, and continuing to do it today, I don’t believe I had mental illness. I do believe that I was believing my thoughts and that was causing all my pain. As I continue to write these thoughts, the ones the persistently race around my head, on paper and question them I become freer and more peaceful each day. Any time a story comes into my head –( a story is anything that I need to tell someone, or something I tell more than 3 times, or any thought that causes me to feel anything other than peace.) I write it on paper and question it, and then I learn I was confused and feel peaceful.
For me The Work has changed my life. I believe there is so much help out there for people who want to heal themselves. All you have to do is want it. There is a saying, “When the student is ready the teacher appears”. In my experience this is true.
Contact me, Lori for information and to book a session.