In my experience, my depression was caused because I didn’t have a healthy way to deal with the stress in my life. This is a series of posts I put on my facebook for the month of February 2016. Different ways I have personally found to deal with stress in my life. At Listening Unlimited it is my goal to give the client what they want/need! Sometimes we just need someone to listen, other times we would like to see the truth and work through the perceived problem. Whatever it is that you need, I am there!
Speaking out about depression: 29 Ways To Be Proactive!
- After posting facebook I felt terror. I sat and wrote the thoughts causing my terror. I will be misunderstood, They will think I’m crazy, I will say the wrong thing, I will hurt someone, I will make them angry, They won’t like me, I will be too harsh. I then questioned the thoughts with The Work of Byron Katie. This is how I live my life. When stress appears in my life, I find the thoughts that I am believing then I question them. If some stranger in your life came and told you something, would you believe it or do it without questioning it? Why are we doing that with our thoughts? Do you notice your thoughts? A good exercise to do is: For one day, write down every thought that crosses your mind.
- It’s a good idea to speak out about depression and admit how your feeling rather than denying it. I’ve learned that “the story” (anything you tell more than three times) is the cause of pain. When I admit that I am feeling down I change my focus to solutions. When I focus on solutions they present themselves to me in my life.
- When I studied NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) we were taught: Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Your body created this imbalance and your body can fix it. This felt true to me. The more I question my stressful thoughts the more I believe my depression was caused by what I was believing at the time.
- When I studied NLP we were taught the word depression is a nominalization, you can’t work with that. Change it to an adjective: What are you depressed about? Now you have something to work with. Sometime after I was medicine free, I had the thought “I’m depressed” I made an appointment to see my NLP Counsellor, she asked me, “What are you depressed about?” I looked at my life and realized there was nothing everything was great I had a fantastic life.
- It is not the situation that causes stress in my life, it is what I am believing about it. I have been doing The Work for est. 8 years now. I have come to learn it is what I am believing that causes me all the stress in my life. I have questioned my thoughts on every type of stressful situation since I was introduced to The Work. I have yet to find a situation that I have not been immediately helped by doing The Work. This is why I have a regular practice of questioning my stressful thoughts with The Work of Byron Katie.
- Feel your feelings! As someone who has a lot of thoughts in her mind “feeling “was difficult for me in the past. I use to find it difficult to drop into my body (bring my awareness or focus into my body) and feel the emotion. My attention and awareness was busy up in my head looking at all the thoughts and trying to figure things out. The good news is, with practice this is possible! I studied The Journey by Brandon Bays and became a Certified Journey Practitioner. Now when emotion comes up for me, I am able to notice it, feel it, let it be there. I find without thoughts holding this emotion in place, it goes away quickly.
- Are you willing to work at your emotional wellness? It has appeared to me that my emotional health is something I have had to work at. The Work of Byron Katie for me, is like Yoga. It would be silly for me to do Yoga once and think I would never have to do it again if I want to have a strong flexible body. I want to have an open peaceful mind, so my practice is questioning my stressful thoughts.
- Any kind of stress we feel in our life is a sign there something to pay attention to. I firmly believe if we learned deal with the small stresses in our life there would be less depression.
- Forgive! I like this quote “ Not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die” I learned a lot about forgiveness while studying The Journey by Brandon Bays. The Journey Intensive is a workshop which teaches participants easy and repeatable processes. In each process there is a forgiveness part. This would be a great start!
- Forgive! Forgive yourself also. I found I was able to forgive others but not so free with forgiveness when it came to myself. I wrote two lists: 1. If I forgive them it means that: 2. If I forgive me it means that: I took the concepts from these lists and questioned them with The Work of Byron Katie.
- Find something that helps you feel better. If it helps you feel better today try it again the next time you feel stressed. I ask the universe for help, I get answers. You can ask what or who you believe in. There is a saying “When the student is ready the teacher will appear” I have found this to be true.
- Follow your heart: Speaking out about depression: Being Proactive Is something I feel very passionate about. My intent is to share my experiences with anyone who is looking for this information. When I was diagnosed with depression, there were no choices available. Medication was all that was offered, I found I did have choice and if I was willing to work at it – It worked for me. Funny thing, I have experienced an overwhelming fear of exposure throughout my life therefore sharing any message publically is again terrifying. As much as this series is intended for anyone that is looking for this information, it is for me. I get to look at my stressful thoughts about exposure and question them. I get to face the fear and do it anyway. I get to feel this sensation in my body and relax and surrender into it.
- Journey Intensive: I highly recommend attending a Journey Intensive. The Journey Process was developed by Brandon Bays after she spontaneously healed from a tumor. Brandon’s husband Enneagram – Kevin Billett The Journey, healed from depression that he believed was hereditary after one Journey Process. Kevin was able to see the truth of the depression. This type of work is also how I healed from depression over 25 years ago. I had to learn how to “feel” The Journey is a safe place to do this. It is my belief and experience that when you shut down feelings, it leads to depression. You can’t shut down fear, anger and expect to feel love. I have to be willing and open to feeling all emotions.
- Silva Method: I took a workshop called The Silva Method. It was my first real introduction to meditation. I would highly recommend it. They teach a number of small repeatable processes that you can do on your own for different life situations. I found the guided meditation/relaxation very amazing. I had to learn to relax and let go and this was a great place to start. I have and continue to use what I learned in this workshop.
- We have Choice: Are you willing to work at mental wellness? The choice is yours. I have found that all I have to do is “want” an answer, be open to a solution. Then answers and solutions seem to come my way. What thoughts stop you from taking action? Make a list and question these thoughts with The Work of Byron Katie.
- Listen to what others say has worked for them. When you are open to this type of information it will come your way. I was speaking with a good friend, she mentioned raising your vibration. Since I have studied Abraham-Hicks for years and understand the benefit of raising your vibration, I thought I would try it. One night I was in bed and my mind was racing. I just relaxed and thought – I want to raise my vibration. I thought the statement a few times. I want to raise my vibration. Next thing I noticed it had all passed, and my mind was calm.
- Allow yourself a bad day: I don’t like calling it a bad day, but, it happens. Yesterday, I was feeling a little down with this project I am doing; writing about my experiences Speaking out about depression: Being Proactive! Thoughts were telling me I didn’t have enough material to complete the month, it is stupid anyway, I would fail. I surrendered to it all and went on with my day. Maybe I wouldn’t finish, I let it go. Most of all, I noticed where a story about this day was trying to attach itself in my head. I woke up today feeling happy, bright and optimistic. Ideas were once again flowing. I was connected to that place inside me where inspiration is.
- Celebrate accomplishments: If you do anything to support your emotional wellness, acknowledge it. Notice any glimmer of proof that you got results from your efforts. If you are writing a positive aspects journal, write about it. I really feel this trains the mind to look at the good and the positive. I have noticed in my life thoughts tell me about the negative, when I start looking for the positive and genuine experiences of the good, I am shown more of it.
- Out of The Blue Workshop: This workshop was specifically designed for people dealing with depression by Enneagram – Kevin Billett The Journey, Kevin healed from depression, that he believed was hereditary. After only one Journey Process Kevin was able to see the truth of depression. This type of work is how I healed from depression despite medical opinions.
- Go for a walk: I found walking a great way to feel grounded and clear my head. If it feels right, walk barefoot it is even better. I wear Vibrams Five Finger shoes as I feel a greater connection with the earth.
- Positive Aspects Journal: I learned from Abraham-Hicks about starting a Positive Aspects Journal. Every day look for something, some moment where I felt ok and write about. I look for genuine experiences, even if it is only one second. It took me years to see the benefit of this, but now I have found when I am noticing the goodness in life, it keeps on coming. It seems the thoughts I had only told me how bad things were, when I start looking for how good they are I start seeing them. It feels like these thoughts are trainable after all!
- What can you do for someone that is depressed?: When I notice I believe someone is depressed I do a Judge Your Neighbour Worksheet on them. This is my work, I notice the images in my head, the thoughts in my head, my behavior when I believe they are depressed. When I do my own work I feel clear, have an open heart and can listen to them when they are ready to talk. I have noticed that my projections of their imagined future help no one. I also notice, from a place of openness I am clearer to act when necessary. Then, I offer to help once. I tell them I am available to talk when they are ready. My “urge” is to give advice, I do my best to keep it to myself unless it is asked for. The also is my continued work, writing those thoughts on paper and questioning them. All you need to do The Work of Byron Katie is an open mind, everything else is available free http://thework.com/en/tools-do-workFeb 23: Secondary Gain: When I studied NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming we learned about Secondary Gain. What “positive” do you get from being depressed? The example we were given was someone wanting to quit smoking but believing the act smoking was part of their creative writing process. This secondary gain of smoking would never allow them to quit. Another way to find a secondary gain is to ask yourself, why would I want this? When I ask this question, I stay open and wait. The answer comes when it comes.
- Feel emotions: What you resist persists! This is my experience on feelings or thoughts. Years ago I did a meditation on fear. The meditation went, “feel the fear, let it go”, as I laid on my bed in a very open, receptive state, all of a sudden, I felt terror. I jumped up off my bed and ran out of the room to busy myself. All I had to do in that moment was feel, relax, let go, stay there until it passed. I didn’t learn this until years later. I did an exercise at a Journey event that allowed blocked feelings to come. When I went home that night, there it was again, the terror. This time I laid in it and felt it. Before I knew, I had fallen asleep. That wasn’t the end of the terror, the next night, the terror came back, this time it was images, scary red and black images. Again, I felt and allowed it all to be there. Soon I was asleep. When I think of the years I ran from that terror, and it took less than one minute to feel it and be free. A Journey Intensive is a safe place to learn to feel emotions. http://thejourneyna.com/
- What you resist persists! This is my experience on thoughts or feelings. In my experience when I have thoughts and I try to ignore them, not think them, push them away, compartmentalize them, they only persist. I sit quietly and write these stressful thoughts on paper and question them with The Work of Byron Katie. http://thework.com/en/tools-do-work
- Notice what you eat and drink and how it affects your mood: I have clearly seen how my diet affects my mood. At different times I have removed things from my diet, for example grains, wheat, gluten, dairy, alcohol, processed food, etc. and noticed the difference in my mood. I also noticed the difference in my mood when these items are added back. In summary, I noticed that I feel much better without alcohol, gluten, grains, processed food and with increased vegetables in my diet.
- When a memory comes in to your awareness notice it. If the memory causes you stress, feel it, soften your body and allow the sensations to be there. Basically, the memory is stored in our cells because we contract each time the memory appears. If we allow these feelings to be there the memory or series of memories will dissipate. Michael Stringer explains this eloquently in his book The Untethered Soul.
- When the student is ready the teacher will appear: I believe the teacher is the person in front of me. They are there to teach me what I want to learn in this minute. What are they saying that I am resisting? Can I keep my heart open when I am upset with them? When I resist, feel defensive, angry, fearful, judgmental, these feelings are a clue to me there is truth for me in what is being said. When I feel anything but peace with what someone says to me, in my experience, somewhere, I believe what they are saying, and I am denying it. This is why I use the Judge Your Neighbour worksheet on these situations, for me it is the quickest, easiest way I can see what truth I am avoiding, feel it, and feel peace. http://thework.com/en/tools-do-work
- My inner voice: One thing I have learned from doing this work for my mental wellness is I can hear my inner voice. It is there all the time but when I get too many thoughts in my head, I can’t hear it. My inner voice is my guidance system. I have learned the difference between my ego voice and inner voice. I have noticed when I question the stressful thoughts I can hear my inner voice more clearly. When I listen to my inner voice, life is easy and the happiness is amazing. In this one minute I can only do one thing, my inner voice will tell me what that is. My only job is to stay clear to hear it.